by Stuart Diamond, Marc Cashman
(15)Release Date: January 11, 2011
Buy new:
23 used & new from $24.62
(Visit the Hot New Releases in Books on CD list for authoritative information on this product's current rank.)
Review & Description
Negotiation is part of every human encounter, and most of us do it badly. Whether dealing with family, a business or diplomacy, people often fail to meet their goals in every country and context. They focus on power and “win-win” instead of relationships and perceptions. They don’t find enough things to trade. They think others should be rational when they should be dealing with emotions. They get distracted from their goals.
In this revolutionary book, leading negotiation practitioner and professor Stuart Diamond draws on the research and practice of 30,000 people he has taught and advised in 45 countries over two decades to outline specific, practical and better ways to deal with others. They range from country and corporate leaders to administrative assistants, lawyers, housewives, students and laborers. To this he adds his 40-year experience as an executive, Harvard-trained attorney and Pulitzer Prize winning journalist.
Getting More is based on Professor Diamond’s award-winning negotiations course at The Wharton Business School, where it has been the most sought-after course by students for 13 years. It contains a powerful toolkit that can be used by anyone in any situation: with kids and jobs, travel and shopping, business, politics, relationships, cultures, partners and competitors.
The advice is addressed through the insightful stories of hundreds of people who have used Diamond’s tools with great success. A 20% savings on an item already on sale. An extra $300 million profit in a business. A woman from India getting out of her own arranged marriage. A 4 year old willingly brushing his teeth and going to bed.
Conventional wisdom is challenged on almost every page. Instead of “win-win,” it sometimes makes more sense lose today to get more tomorrow. The use of power, Diamond cautions, too often causes retaliation, harms relationships and costs credibility. Walking out is almost never as good as understanding the other person’s perceptions and fixing the problem. Not everything is about money; intangibles such as valuing others will often get you much more in return. Even the hardest bargainers can be tamed by using their own public standards against them.
The key to getting more is finding the right tools for each situation; being more flexible, and better understanding the other party. These strategies are invisible, until you learn them. Once you see them, they will always be there to help you get more.
From the Hardcover edition.Q&A with Author Stuart Diamond
 |
A. It will change your life. It will improve almost every interaction you have with other people for the rest of your days: at work, with your friends, with family—including kids and parents—as well as with travel, buying and selling things, even in everyday conversation. It’s also fun to read: it contains the anecdotes of several hundred people who got more. You don’t have to wade through it—the practical things to do are right there, stated clearly amid interesting stories. Q. How much money will I make or save?
A. The average MBA student makes or saves $10,000 during a 12-week semester; for the average executive the figure is about $1 million. This includes raises at work, better dealings on buying or selling a house or car, previously unimaginable discounts in stores, more value for what you sell, more profit and lower costs in your business. The tools and strategies are based on psychology; many seem to work like magic, my students tell me. Of course, they are not magic, but a structured set of strategies and tools that are invisible to those who don’t know them. Q. What intangible benefits will I get?
A. In a thousand different ways, you will gain more control over your life. Hard bargainers will not get the better of you. You will learn to control your emotions, and get commitments that stick. You’ll start talking to estranged friends and family members. You will get more power and meet your goals. You’ll learn how to get that promotion. Q. How is this book different from other negotiation books?
A. Since the world is more emotional than rational, Getting More focuses on understanding the emotions of others and dealing with them. Instead of forcing others to do things through power or leverage, Getting More focuses on finding, understanding and valuing the perceptions of others. This gives you a more precise place to start, gets them in the mood to negotiate and is thus much more likely to result in agreement. The use of raw power, practiced worldwide, causes retaliation, wrecks relationships and often makes the power-user the issue, causing a loss of credibility. And it urges people not to limit themselves to the facts of any deal, but to use all the thoughts, feelings, needs and experiences of each party to broaden the scope of discussion. This makes deals easier to reach. This advice is psychologically based, often counterintuitive and far more successful than traditional negotiation advice, which focuses on leverage and rational actors. As such, finding the pictures in the heads of each party is the key to more successful negotiations. Q. How do you know these tools and strategies work?
A. I have taught 30,000 people in 45 countries over a 20 year period: from country and corporate leaders to administrative assistants; doctors, lawyers, school children, parents, professionals and workers of all types. From these people, I have collected more than half a million pages of journals and researched or reviewed more than a thousand studies on various aspects of negotiation. I also am an experienced negotiator as a business executive and attorney in industries ranging from aviation to agriculture to medical services to high technology. I have carefully documented that these tools work, and they work four times as well as traditional confrontational negotiation, studies show. I have documented thousands of cases where the participants’ lives have changed. The process I teach solved the 2008 Hollywood Writers strike, made hundreds of millions of dollars for some companies and got four-year-olds to willingly brush their teeth and go to bed. The tools are even starting to be used by the U.S. military in Afghanistan to gain the support of tribal leaders against the Taliban. The course has been the most popular at The Wharton Business School, often ranked #1 among business schools, for 13 years. Q. In particular, how can the tools of Getting More help in raising children?
A. The tools in Getting More are especially good for raising well-behaved, loving and yet independent-minded children. It just requires most parents to think a little differently about the process. First, understand and value your child’s perceptions. Maybe they are watching TV to relieve stress, just like you have a drink after work. Even making the effort to understand that will make them grateful and want to do things for you in return. Second, consult your son or daughter on things and give them control of some decisions – picking a restaurant, when to do homework, what toothpaste to use. Kids know they have little power; give them some and they will listen to you more. Third, kids love to trade. Trade TV for homework, chores for games, etc. It’s not a bribe; you are teaching kids about life, which is about quid pro quo. Discuss what happens if someone breaks a commitment. I have an 8-year-old son. I’ve been using these tools since he understood language. We have a great relationship. Read more
No comments:
Post a Comment